I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
