I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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