I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
