question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
is it fun? or sober?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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