talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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