The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
