I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
