i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
