all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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