I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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