This is not my ceiling
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
