She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
