So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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