billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
