Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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