she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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