hotel room ftw
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
