drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
