sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
