Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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