I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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