The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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