doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
