maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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