New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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