Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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