he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
