so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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