She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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