I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
