i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
