where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
