Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
