i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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