Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
