pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
