They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
