i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
