the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
