she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
birth control should be required to get into college
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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