If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
