Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
