i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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