yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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