Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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