Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
