Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
