Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
