Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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