You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
