Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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