I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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