You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
