I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
