No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
