The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
