super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
