Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
